Relationship Dynamics in The Perks of Being a Wallflower Essay

My manner is an later onschool additional. These words, spoken by the character, Patrick, summarize the dynamics of the relationships confronted in the movie, The Perks of beingness a Wallflower. The movie is a coming-of-age written report about Charlie, a son without any fri turn backs, as he enters his offset printing year of high school. mend the movie is geargond toward young adults, the message portrayed about relationships touches every superstar We put up the love we think we deserve. In the movie, Charlie has a crush on a fun-loving, party-girl, senior, surface-to-air missile, who is already dating an older boy in college. Though they deform close friends and portion intimate experiences and spirits with for each one other, Charlie never asks surface-to-air missile out. cast more answer paper about earthquakeThe movie upholds traditionalistic high school relationship stereotypes from the Sadie Hawkins dance to prom photo shoots plainly it too illuminates the uniqueness of every close intimate relationship. It is best expound by Charlie when he says, I know some twenty-four hours our pictures allow aim old photographs, comparable how a wink captured on camera heap be seen however never experienced the a equal way again. through the dynamics of surface-to-air missile and Charlies relationship, I result show how The Perks of macrocosm a Wallflower depicts a real(a), true love report that re stupefys cosmopolitan elements everyone experiences in close relationships.Before his depression day of high school, Charlie writes, I am both happy and sad and Im tranquil trying to figure out how that can be. He begins his offset printing day alone, eating by himself in the cafeteria, never raising his hand in class, and keeping his head ducked down in the hallways. One night he decides to go to a high school football endorse, where he runner meets surface-to-air missile and her stepbrother, Patrick. Together, they watch their schoo l football team win the game and surface-to-air missile and Patrick invite Charlie to the diner with them by and bywards where they talk about their favorite(a) music and what they fatality to be when they grow up.This act of sharing demonstrable experiences together that benefits the progression of a relationship is called capitalization(Reiss, Carmichael, Caprariello, Tsai, Rodriguez & Maniaci, 2010). surface-to-air missile and Patrick share the experience of Charlies first party, his first school dance, and even the first time he gets high. The most theatrical example of capitalization in the movie is when the three friends are driving home and the song, Heroes by David Bowie comes on the radio and Sam demands that Patrick drive through the Fort Pitt Tunnel so she can stand in the back of the pickup transport plot blasting the song over the radio. Charlie is so stricken by the feeling of belonging that he looks at Patrick and says, I feel infinite.Sam and Charlie rifle clo ser when they offer each other the comfort of knowing that they are not alone. Their relationship grows even deeper when they learn that they can share their experiences and feelings with each other without being rejected. This happens the first time at Charlies first high school party. Charlie, while he is stoned, confesses to Sam that his alone friend, Michael, savour himself last spring. Sam shares what Charlie told her with Patrick and they later toast Charlie at the party in order to welcome him as their new friend in bird-scarer of everyone. Charlie looks as if he is about to cry because for the first time, he feels equal he belongs somewhere.As their intimacy progresses, Charlie demonstrates his meats for Sam by giving her gifts and pass displays of affection known as maintenance behaviors in relationships (Stafford, 2003). For example, he makes her a mixed tape themed after the night that they drove through the burrow together even though he couldnt find the special so ng that make them feel infinite. Charlie alike offers to help Sam subject for the succeeding(prenominal) SATs after he sees how disappointed she is when she receives her scores. Charlies self-disclosure and efforts to display affection encourages Sam to share the more private parts of her life without fearing she will be rejected by him. Sams moment of self-disclosure is after the Christmas party, when she invites Charlie up to her room for the first time to give him a thank-you baffle for helping her study for the SATs. On her desk is an old typewriter with a bow for Charlie, because she knows that Charlie wants to be a writer someday. When Charlie sees the gift on her desk, he says withdisbelief, You got me a present?The glow of enjoyment off of Charlies face demonstrates the physiological reaction of expressing gratitude in relationships. Acts of gratitude are known to significantly increase relationship triumph (Demoss, 2004). Not only does Sam display gratitude towards Ch arlie, but she lets him into her room, her private pose where none of the other party guests had been invited to go. In a moment of closeness, after Charlie confesses hes never pampered a girl, Sam shares with Charlie that her first kiss was when her dads boss molested her at the age of ten. Charlie responds with validation, telling her that the same thing happened to his aunt Helen and that she turned her life around. When Sam comments that his aunt must have been a great woman, Charlie responds, She was my favorite person in the world, until now.Sam, overwhelmed with tears, tells Charlie that she knows that he knows she has a boyfriend, but she wants to make sure that the first person that kisses him, loves him. Charlie nods, and Sam leans in and kisses him. For the first time she says, I love you, Charlie. And he responds, I love you too.Charlie and Sam do not capture a couple, but they continue to teach each other that they are deserving of genuine love. The greater the impa ct close relationships have on ones self-image, the greater satisfaction one will receive from the relationship (Mattingly, Oswald, Clark, 2011). Sam and Charlie do this by perpetuating a positive self-image of each other, increasing the happiness they receive from spending time together. Sam does this for Charlie by acknowledging that he is not crazy and that he is someone worth being friends with. Charlie does this for Sam by encouraging her to apply to colleges and offering the emotional support that he believes in her.Sam and Charlie have a genuine concern for each others well being. These compassionate, supportive goals are another example of how reactive they are to each others needs (Conovello & Crocker, 2011). Charlie doesnt just give Sam his most beloved gift because he thinks shes pretty and wants her to like him. He gives her the Beatles record his deceased aunt Helenleft him because he truly cares about her, and he wants her to be happy. It is for the same reason Sam g ives Charlie his first kiss. They have goals to meet the needs of each other.However, like all individuals and relationships, Sam and Charlie are not perfect. Despite the genuine love and affection Charlie offers her, Sam continues to date her boyfriend who is cheating on her, and Charlie continues to date Sams friend, Mary Elizabeth, even though he doesnt have romanticist feelings for her. After Sam finally dumps her boyfriend and Charlie is no chronic dating Mary Elizabeth, Sam confronts Charlie and asks him why he had never asked her out. Charlie responds that he didnt think she wanted him to and that he just wanted her to be happy. Sam replies, You cant just put everyones lives frontwards of yours and think that counts as loveI dont want to be someones crush, I want people to like the real me. Charlie fidgets nervously and after a long pause he tells Sam, I know who you are, and he tells her that shes beautiful and he kisses her. This moment suggests that the impact their rela tionship had on their self-esteem, brought them both to a point where they could subscribe to the love that the other thought they deserved.Despite all the efforts Sam and Charlie made towards the intimacy of their relationship, the movie does not end happily ever after. The next day Sam leaves for college, and the intimate sexual experience between Charlie and Sam triggered Charlie to have flashbacks of his aunt Helen molesting him as a child and he is hospitalized in a psychiatric ward. Charlie is left alone wondering how it is possible to be happy and sad at the same time and how someone he loved and idolized like his aunt Helen could have done something that bear him so badly.The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a love story that is told the way Sam described rock love ballads to Charlie both kitschy and brilliant. The story uses the general setting of stereotypical high school drama to portray the human experience of close relationships. Charlie experiences the euphoria of firs t love and also the pain of devastating heartbreak. And just like old photographs, whether the setting was a high school dance or asocial at a retirement home, the relationships in this movie are relatable to anyone who views them, while also existing as independent unique experiences that will never be lived the same way twice. Even though the movie doesnt end with Charlie and Sam as a happy couple, it still ends with an uplifting survey reuniting Charlie, Sam, and her brother, Patrick.Charlie is standing in the back of Sams pickup truck while they drive through the Fort Pitt Tunnel and his voice narrates, I know these will all be stories someday and our pictures will become old photographs, but right now, this is happening. He acknowledges that the experience of human relationships is something that everyone will experience and that all of the moments shared will become memories, but Charlie shows that the skill that comes from love lives in the moment where you feel like you ar e the only one who has ever experienced it before. That one momentwhen youre earshot to that song on that drive with the people you love most in this worldI swear, we are infinite.ReferencesCanvello, A., & Crocker, J. (2011). Interpersonal goals, others regard for the self, and self-esteem The erroneous consequences of self-image and compassionate goals. European diary of Social Psychology, 41, 422-434.Demoss, Y. (2004). Brief interventions and resiliency in couples. Dissertation Abstracts International The Sciences and Engineering, 65(5-B), 2619.Mattingly, B.A., Oswald, D.L., & Clark, E.M. (2011). An examination of relational-interdependent self-construal, communal strength, and pro-relationship behaviors in friendships. Personality and undivided Differences, 50, 1243-1248. Reis, H.T., Smith, S.M., Carmichael, C.L., Caprariello, P.A., Tsai, F., Rodriguez, A., & Maniaci, M.R. (2010). Are you happy for me? How sharing positive events with others provides personal and interpersonal benefits. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99, 311-329.Stafford, L. (2003). Maintaining romantic relationships A summary and analysis of one research program. In D.J. Canary & M. Dainton (Eds.),Maintaining relationships through communication Relational, contextual, and cultural variations (pp. 51-77). Mahwah, NJ Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.